da leao： After the usual hype and bluster the January transfer window turned out to be a great big dud which in hindsight was to be expected.
da doce： This summer however looks set to be that rarest of events – something that promises to blow our minds then actually goes out and blows our freakin’ minds – with headline-busting mega-dosh moves in abundance.
Premier League clubs – even the Norwich Citys and Bournemouths should they avoid the drop – will excitedly splurge away their £5.2 billion TV windfall like Kanye West at a fur outlet while a plethora of big-name new arrivals in the technical areas will herald further spending as overhauls are undertaken.
There are other factors too. Manchester United will not tolerate another season of mediocrity and with a reputed £250 million war-chest will be determined to headhunt a name even your mum has heard of. Chelsea meanwhile are in desperate need of a quality striker to take the strain off Diego Costa’s hamstrings while John Terry’s departure will surely signal another predatory attempt for John Stones.
Elsewhere Jurgen Klopp will relish his first full summer and the opportunity to target talent he shortlisted during his football sabbatical while Manchester City have Pep and Pep changes everything. Here is a coach of such standing players of the calibre of Paul Pogba will be willing to snub overtures by Barcelona and Real Madrid just so they can inhale his exquisite cologne in training each morning.
Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride because for three barmy and balmy months later this year we’re going to be bedazzled by a magical merry-go-round of madness, money and shock switches.
Here’s six that will dominate the headlines and blow up the internet…
Eden Hazard to PSG
Last year’s Player’s and Football Writer’s Player of the Year has been making kissy faces at the French champions in recent weeks and a stupendously colossal bid looks assured.
Whether Chelsea play hardball is another matter but Hazard has form for forcing through moves and knows exactly what s***house behaviour is necessary to ensure he gets what he wants – a move from one big club to another big club who play in an inferior league but with a bankful of extra cash to make all the drama worthwhile.
Once the dust has settled we’re going to be left with an intriguing possibility: That Chelsea might promote one of their gazillion loanee creative midfielders in Hazard’s place. Okay, that’s stretching it just a bit too far.
Paul Pogba to Manchester City
Pep’s pulling power is already taking effect and that’s before he’s even stepped foot in east Manchester.
Prior to the Very Special One’s public admission that he is City-bound the narrative surrounding Pogba’s future seemed straightforward: it was Barcelona or nothing.
In the past week however the potential heir to Yaya’s reclining throne has joined Ilkay Gundogan and Granit Xhaka in praising Guardiola’s virtues with each stating they would like – one day, of course – to learn from the grandmaster.
City are in dire need of a midfield upgrade but realistically there is only room for two new arrivals. We can be certain that if City’s Director of Football Txiki Begiristain has his way Pogba will be the subject of an eye-watering bid this summer and with Gundogan hinting that he too will be wearing the laser blue shirt next year that potentially leaves Xhaka high and dry.
Granit Xhaka to Liverpool
Well not quite high and dry. Liverpool would hardly be a consolation prize for the midfield schemer once dubbed ‘the young Scheinsteiger’. The Kosovo-Albanian has recently declared it a ‘dream’ to play in the Premier League and the chance to play under Klopp – a coach who evidently rates him very highly – in a new-look Liverpool XI would surely appeal greatly to the 23 year old.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to Arsenal
A strange phenomenon began to occur around 2013. Arsenal started to spend money. And not just £800,000 here and there on promising uncut diamonds. Whopping amounts on good-to-go superstars.
Their need for a top-notch striker is beyond dispute and Aubameyang’s wilful destruction of the Bundesliga has put him in bold capital letters on Wenger’s wishlist.
Oliver Giroud said this week that the repeated links to the Gabonese hitman is what motivates him. He can expect to be thoroughly motivated from the bench in 2016/17.
Michy Batshuayi to Tottenham
The 22-year-old Marseilles forward is reportedly in the middle of a tug of war between Spurs and West Ham but with the latter on course for a Champions League spot you have to question whether it’s a fair fight.
Having lost out on the Baggies Berahino last summer we can expect Daniel Levy to negotiate all-guns-blazing this time as Tottenham seek to finally resolve a long-standing shortfall, namely a quality back-up for Kane.
Edinson Cavani to Manchester United
Firstly let’s dispense with the clickbait nonsense of Neymar or Bale heading to Old Trafford. There is more chance of Louis Van Gaal telling his players ‘Just go out and attack today lads. Fill your boots’ than either of these farcical rumours materialising. I know it, you know it, and, most pertinently of all, Ed Woodward knows it.
Cavani however is a different, more realistic proposition. This week the Uruguayan’s father claimed the striker is unhappy in Paris and criticised the team’s slow build-up play before stating that Edinson will only consider a Champions League club next term.
Which means two things must happen before United even begin the process of luring one of the most coveted forwards in world football to Manchester. They must secure a top four place. And they must sack Louis Van Gaal.